This week we will be looking at a Task 1, and one of the techniques that students may use to show analytical ability as well as ensure they have enough word count, which is fatal otherwise.
This essay was written by a HK DSE student targeting a 7.0, however, due to the preponderance of syntax errors, is at the moment still around a 6.0 bank.
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✅❎ James’ comment on the student’s work:
Third person singular errors, as highlighted in the essay, are damning around a 6.0
The candidate demonstrates some ability with a range of complex sentence structures, yet some gaucherie as well, thus nullifying somewhat the effect.
Spelling errors are not permitted at 7.0
Candidate makes the mistake of using HK’s favorite incorrect preposition “on”, corrected in the essay based on context.

✏ Singular plural incoherence is decisive in a 6.0 band, and no higher than 6.5 if there are few errors, which this essay is not the case.

Finally, in the conclusion, the candidate attempts to interpret the data, which, though not necessary, does present an opportunity to demonstrate skill and analytical ability if done so skillfully within the parameters of the topic. It is generally frowned upon to attempt to interpret the data which minimally requires that one report, not interpret, it.

However, there is something to be said of, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and what better way to stand out from the candidate pool than by astutely demonstrating incisive clarity, within reason. The key is to say, “the data suggests” rather than “I guess”, with the caveat of the limitations of the data. This candidate has done so, as appended.

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