James’ Tips

Today’s tip is on the importance of clear paragraphing.

The following example is by a typical Hong Kong DSE student who is targeting a 6.5 and has at the moment only a 5.0 approximately skill level.

❓ Question:

Many parents feel that competition should be encouraged among children. Others believe that other skills or qualities are more advantageous.

Discuss both these views and provide your own opinion.

📌 Comments:
Parsing issues, ie, patient (adj.) or patience (n.)
Syntax and grammar issues.
Absence of linkers.
The essay is 1 giant block with no clear paragraphing.
The grammar has been corrected and linkers provided.

A better flow and progression of ideas, using only the same ideas in the essay, would have been:

💢 💢 Introduction 💢 💢
Paraphrase the topic; give a clear thesis statement.
️🎉 Body 1:
The benefits and drawbacks of competition.

️🎉Body 2:
Cooperation as a superior alternative.

Conclusion:
Reiterate why competition is not desired and why cooperation is a superior alternative.

Click to read an assay from student & James’ comment :
https://goo.gl/6uDjQU
:
想免費試堂 👉 https://goo.gl/C1JkDy
:
= = = = = = = = = =
地址: 灣仔駱克道114-118號嘉洛商業大廈5樓A室
Tel : 3543 1522
:
Whatsapp : https://wa.me/85268932956
:
Inbox : m.me/hkeel.hk
:
#English #Course #Tutor #Summer #Discount #IELTS #Offer #BritishCouncilhk #英國文化協會 #englishtown #wallstreetenglish #wsehk #DSE #PrivateClass #英文 #補習班 #雅思 #英語導師 #jamestips

Post Comments:

  1. Pingback: keto pudding
  2. Pingback: latisse coupon
  3. Pingback: what is aralen
  4. Pingback: otc tizanidine
  5. Pingback: lumigan 01

Comments are closed.

Elite Complete English

Contact Us

Address:
1002B, 10/F, Causeway Bay Commercial Building,
1-13 Sugar Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong

Telephone: +852 3543 1522

Whatsapp: +852 6893 2956

Facebook: /hkeel.hk

Facebook Messenger

Opening Hours

Mondays to Thursdays 12:30pm to 8:30pm
Saturdays 10am to 6pm
Fridays and Public Holidays Closed