James’ Tips

Today’s lesson is on the necessity of avoiding fatal mistakes.

The following question and sample was submitted by a candidate who works in IT and needs all band 8.0. Therefore, the feedback given to this candidate who is taking only private lessons, is much more targeted and is needless to say, quite different from the feedback given to a student who would be targeting a 6.0, 6.5, or even a 7.0.

8.0 is the cream of the crop.
The candidate’s performance could have been an easy 7.5 except they made 2 fatal mistakes, which immediately would have made it as low as a 6.5 or even a 6.0. This inaccuracy was augmented with considerable complexity of sentence structure that was somewhat mitigating. Very common mistakes that virtually all of the candidates in Hong Kong make.

What fatal mistakes?
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➡Topic Question:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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✅❎James’ comment on the student’s work:
It is not helpful to open the essay with a simple sentence.
The introduction makes a damning mistake, and the result is thus sealed.
Better sign posting or linking has been supplemented which was lacking.
The conclusion has improved upon past performances yet still uses rather common complex sentences.
An alternative that leaves no doubt as to the caliber and band has been suggested for reference.
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Would you like to try?
Submit your task today for assessment. Must be submitted before the end of the day’s business hours.

Click to read an assay from student & James’ comment :
https://goo.gl/6uDjQU
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想免費試堂 👉 https://goo.gl/C1JkDy
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